About Zach

Zach is a wandering minstrel (as opposed to a meandering wastrel) who believes in uniting diversity, social responsibility, and discovering as hard as he can. To those ends has he dedicated his life.

Kalamazoo, MI

The trip into Michigan went seamlessly (can you imagine if it would have had seams? Worst). There was one little “adventure” though. I drove to the wrong house. It had the same house number and everything. But I got a strange feeling about it.

Look how wrong it looks.

Seriously, look at that house. Don’t you get a strange feeling looking at it?

“Pretty much… no,” says Mr. Yirfulovit.

Mr. Yirfulovit! What are you doing here?

“No idea. Pretty sure you just invented me right now.”

That’s ridiculous!

“Yep.”

Okay, well, getting back to the story of the wrong house. My strange feeling was no doubt due to the fact that I had stayed with my hosts (Bob and Lori Brown, parents of my college friend Adam Brown, who you may remember from such posts as: Twin Cities, MN) before, and I had no memories of this place.

Knocking on the door resulted in a complete stranger answering the door and looking at me quizzically.

“Hello?”
“Hi, I think this is the Wrong House. I’m looking for the Brown residence.”
“The Brown residence…”
“Yes. Or, is this Duane Lane?”
“No, it’s over there.” (pointing)
“Oh. Thanks.”

Wasn’t that an exciting adventure? I thought so.

After actually arriving at the actual Brown residence, we were off to record Mr. Leonard Duke. Over the years I’d heard a good bit about Mr. Duke from various people from Kalamazoo.

Leonard Duke: Living Legend

When I met him, he was a friendly, unassuming man with dirty pants. But more on the pants later.

His music collection indicates a love of jazz. The massive amount of musical instruments and equipment in his house indicate a lifelong love of music. At one point an inspirational science teacher, Mr. Duke somehow also acquired mad skillz on a wide variety of instruments.

Me: I hear you play tuba.
Mr. Duke: Sure. I have a sousaphone around here somewhere.

A few minutes later, we were recording sousaphone. Then banjo. Then trumpet. Then flute.

Instruments a-plenty.

I kept expecting one of them to be his “weak instrument” but I guess we never got to that one (it’s probably the Nay).

Leonard Duke, Polymath

Pretty amazing. Mr Duke put down excellent parts on a handful of songs, and then asked me if I was good at welding. I said no, which was true. He mentioned something about his own personal project, and when I expressed a desire to see his project, he took me back to his garage.

Leonard Duke, proud owner of a driveable Model A.

That, my friends, is an old car. The Lovemobile is a young whippersnapper compared to that car. It is also, no doubt, the reason his pants were dirty. It turns out Mr. Duke keeps it in working order, and was in the middle of fabricating some structural aids for the rear, since a recent rust removal at a body shop had meant significant portions of the body were removed.

It'll be driveable again in five days!

Then it was back to our hosts’ place for the night.

Speaking of our hosts, they have a boat. They live near a lake, and graciously offered us a ride on their boat before we left. So we trundled down toward the lake,

Throoough the treeees...

hopped in the boat,

Eating up the knots.

and proceeded to carve gigantic ruts in the smooth surface of the lake.

Quite a wake.  Also, I'm quite awake, thank you.

It was fast and fun.

lake, trees, sky with clouds (by Zach Bardon)

“I don’t believe these hosts really existed,” says Mr. Yirfulovit. “You just found those images on Google, to trick us.”

That’s ridiculous. They are real. I would like to show you a real picture of Mr. and Mrs. Brown, their daughter, and their niece, in their boat, on the lake. I took this picture myself.

Out with the family.  Not mine, of course, but still.

Then, we were off to lunch with a professional volleyball player named Betsy Bailey, who had contacted me through Couchsurfing. She plays for a team in France and comes back home to the States on the off season. Pretty sweet.

Three amazing athletes, just hanging out together.  You know, being athletic and stuff.

We had a good time chatting, and then JH and I were off to the next stop.

NEXT: The Next Stop.

Chicago, IL

We can see it, the golden city on the horizon.  The city of wind.

We spent four busy and fun days in the windy city. I’ve been behind on posting due to having so many pictures from Chicago and so much to report, so I might be a tad terse. Forgive me.

Chicago Chicago!

July 26th

The first night we met up with my old friend Stephanie Axne:

Me and my old buddy Stephanie!

We had a good time chilling with her and her friend and her brother.

Chilling with some homeys.

Then we called it a night.

We slept here.  I totally took the couch because Koreans can sleep on the floor.

July 27th

The next day we ate some breakfast at a really cool breakfast joint, the name of which I have forgotten. (Steph – if you read this, totally say the name of the place in the comments OK?) Besides the delicious eats, one of the highlights was this picture in the bathroom.

This picture was in the men's bathroom at a popular breakfast joint.

All the other pictures were roosters.

After breakfast, Steph put down some nice vocals for one of my songs, and then we were off to Gino’s East to introduce JH to Chicago-style pizza.

You have no idea how I’ve been craving Chicago-style pizza. The only place I could find it in Korea was at a Pizzeria Uno in CoEX mall, which had “Chicago style pizza” as a single menu item! Omaha doesn’t even have it. Not even at Old Chicago!! Seriously. Needless to say, the pizza was a huge highlight for me.

“What’s so special about Chicago-style pizza?” asks Attractive Girl attractively.

Actually, the fact that you don’t know decreases your attractiveness.

“Really. Did you know,” she asks coquettishly, “that I want to discover everything about the world, including Chicago-style pizza? Also, I value correct spelling and grammar.”

Okay, you’re still pretty attractive then. But I can’t answer your question.

“Why not?” Blink blink.

Chicago-style pizza must be tasted, not explained.

“But-”

No. That is my final word. You just have to go eat some. I would totally take you out on a date to eat some but you are only a narrative device. Too bad for you.

“Sigh… I wish I were real.”

We all do, believe me. But getting back to this post… after dinner we headed out to meet our next host, a happening dude by the name of Matt Lederhosen. We had some milkshakes, went to his house, chilled with him and our laptops, went to sleep. (INTERESTING FACT: that is not actually his last name, but it does start with L.)

July 28th

The next day we were off to see the city. We drove to the south side (where I had a session later),

JH & Lovemobile @ UC

hopped on the train toward the city,

About to take the train into the city.

got off said train once we were in the city,

Getting off the train, seeing this.

and proceeded to take random pictures of stuff:

A river runs through it. Cirque du Soleil! Best basketballer of aller.  He's also... taller? JH and MJ. Dude, Michael Jordan is totally jumping onto a fence! Some city, with some tall buildings.  Also some trees. I'm in Chicago! It was hard to flag this taxi from the bridge.  It didn't stop. Building images. Look, mankind made some tall things!  Yay mankind! I always liked this one. Who doesn't love the lake?  Only fools, that's who.

Not pictured: I had a good time taking JH to Ed Debevic’s, where the serving staff is rude to you. It was quite a change from polite Korea.

Then we were back to the south side to record my old friend from WU, Rob Leveridge. Rob and I used to make music together back in the day, when he had long hair and we were rock stars. Rob now has short hair, but he’s still a rock star. In addition to being a rock star, he works for Chicago Theological Seminary. We recorded in his office:

Rob Leveridge is here, but he is invisible.

Rob had brought all kinds of fun toys, like a wave drum (never heard of it before), a frog (kind of like a guiro), and of course his guitar. He layed down a nice assortment of tracks for a few songs.

After that, I went downstairs to record this absolutely nasty-sounding old Steinway I had seen down there. The room wasn’t climate-controlled, and I believe the piano hadn’t been tuned. Ever.

This piano sounded like absolute garbage.  I absolutely had to record it.

There was also a chapel in one of the older sections of the building which sounded amazing. I wanted to record the Pakistani drum that Rob had brought with him in there. Unfortunately, there weren’t any power outlets nearby, so we weren’t able to record. Here is a nice bittersweet view of the space:

The chapel.  The chapel of love.

Finally, it was off to our next host, an extraordinarily helpful fellow named Taylor Brennan. We shot a few holes in the breeze there before going to sleep.

Couches and air mattresses and chairs, oh my.

July 29th

Taylor is a singer (with a broadcasting degree… how cool is that?), and he broadcasted some nice vocals for several songs.

Recording Taylor.

We took a break for food with Taylor and his girlfriend Kim and their other roommate Nicole.

On our way to brunch. I'm pretty sure it was actually on our way back.

After lunch, Kim joined in to do some group vocals with Taylor!

Taylor and Kim laying down some hot vocals.

Then, it was back into the city for some more sightseeing!

We totally drove by here in a bus! Sitting on the dock of the bay. I checked and there were more than three coins in it. I wear these shorts so I don't get hit by cars at night.

Seriously, friends, we walked a lot. My feet and legs were already killing me from the day before, and then we walked several more miles seeing the city again. We walked all the way up the Magnificent Mile too. And, we were really hungry. Would you believe there are no restaurants on the Magnificent Mile?! It’s pretty much true. Finally, near the John Hancock building, we ate at the food court in Macy’s, at California Pizza Kitchen.

We ate this food so hard it's not even funny.

Then, we hopped in the John Hancock building up to the 96th floor for what is considered the best view of the city (for people without airplanes).

And they're all made out of ticky-tacky. View from the 96th. The streets of Chicago.

We came outside as a storm was busy beginning. We got rained on pretty hard as we ran for the subway station, where we discovered that the northbound train we needed was rerouted due to construction, and we had to go to a different station. Another run in the rain. Then a ride on a train. Then we walked back to Taylor’s place, passing closer to Wrigley Field this time.

The closest we got to Wrigley.

July 30th

On this day, we woke up, loaded up, drove out, ate some Chicago-style hotdogs, and were off to Kalamazoo.

I am proud to report that we never had to fill up the tank in Chicago, where gas is like 40 cents more expensive. Yay not doing that!

COMING SOON: Another exciting adventure! Stay tuned!

Des Moines, IA

I’m off on Leaf 2! Or, I should say, we’re off. My friend Jong-hun from Korea is accompanying me for the first couple weeks of my trip this time around. Awesome. Opportunity to see America, gas subsidization, positive emotions all around.

On our way to Des Moines, we saw signs for… a windmill!

A windmill!

Why not? It was 6 miles off the beaten path (by which I really mean the paved, controlled-access path), which isn’t far due to modern inventions like the car.

Jong-hun and... the windmill!

Speaking of cars, the Lovemobile has been doing a great job of carting me all around the country. Here we are, veterans of Leaf 1, next to… a windmill!!

Guess what was made in 1846?  Hint: not my car.

So, following the exciting trip to see a really old windmill, we drove to Des Moines and met a guy who has a great horned owl living on his property. It was my hope that I could record this owl hooting or squawking or whatever it does.

The guy was Nathan Stueve, cool guy and motorcyclist. We followed him

Follow, follow, follow the motorcycle.

to his house

The home of Nathan Stueve, motorcyclist and cool guy

and went to his backyard,

A backyard, home to owls.

where we proceeded to listen for a large owl sound. Nathan was a good storyteller and kept us all entertained while we waited for the owl to squawk. We also enjoyed some fine brats and beer, freshly grilled outside (meaning the brats).

We listened

and listened

and listened

but no sound did a great horned owl make. We heard plenty of owls, but Nathan waved his hand in dismissal, calling them “puny grey owls” and claiming they were a “dime a dozen… they’re everywhere in Iowa.”* Needless to say, I definitely did not record those insignificant owls, but kept waiting for Mr. Big Guy.

Mr. Big Guy kept us waiting, which is stylish, but he never appeared, ever, which is totally not stylish at all. By 9:00 or so we packed up and left. But our thanks to Steve and his awesome girlfriend Erica for offering their owl to us.

Then it was off to meet my host, Aaron Wiese. Aaron has cool stories from touring around with a rock band. What would be cool is if his band name was The Windmills. But it wasn’t.

Aaron lived in a house with like 6 other people, but they were evidently in and out at all times and there were only ever 4 people sleeping there, so by and large that translates to free beds. JH and I slept on various free sleeping-type places throughout the house.

A sleeping-type place.

JH and I had a great time chilling with Aaron and his roommates and random friends that would come over. The next morning, Aaron and JH and I were off to eat lunch with Julie Courraud, a charming girl from Nantes, France. We had a fine meal at El Bait Shop, which is kind of like a Mexican BBQ/seafood joint. I had tilapia tacos. FACT: it was awesome. I’ll stick a picture here if Julie sends it to me.

“What happened next?” asks a nearby onlooker.

Okay, that was a totally unneccessary narrative device. I was just about to say what happened next.

“So… what was it?” he asks, continuing to look on.

*sigh* Next, Aaron and I recorded some guitar!

Aaron laying down the mad guitar trackz.

Aaron came up with a sweet part for one of my songs, and then it was time to move on to Chicago!

NEXT: Chicago. Or, something else.

* Those quotes are actually paraphrases but make for better storytelling as quotes.

The Last Asian Wednesday

No, this is not a short story about Asia being destroyed on a Wednesday, or switching over to some crazy calendar that doesn’t have Wednesdays (although you are welcome to write one in the comments… I will give you a dollar if it’s good). Rather it describes an event, known as “Asian Wednesday.”

They are like stairs!

“Tell us about the origin of Asian Wednesday!!” clamors a mob of nearby teenagers.

Well mob of teenagers, Asian Wednesday has a long and glonous tradition — and cultual. Tuk under thurnb and held firmly.

“WHAT?!” they yell angstily.

Now you can pick up anything! …never mind. When I returned to Omaha from Seoul last March, I met up with my Korean friend Jong-hun, who had come over to Omaha to study English. He ended up living at an awesome place called Capitol Court, which is kind of like a dorm for international students, where he met many other international students, such as Mina Kang and Rumiko Niijima:

A chingu and a tomodachi.

I and some of my friends decided to have a get-together with these people every Wednesday, wherein we would eat food and watch Asian videos. President Bush, upon learning of our weekly outing, said, “I like to say, if America can’t have Asian Wednesdays, it’s not the America I know.” The name stuck.*

President Bush talking about possibly instating Asian Wednesdays as an American holiday.

Last Tuesday (yes, Tuesday) we had a special Asian Wednesday — the last one of its kind. Mina was leaving the next day on a two-week vacation to see America before she goes back to Korea, and I was about to leave on my second Leaf. What’s more, Jong-hun is going to accompany me for several weeks of this Leaf, and Rumiko moved from Capitol Court just two days prior. It just goes to show that Things Change.

Some things, however, don’t change. For example, men like cars:

Nice car, Shusei!

Even better, cars and girls!

Idyllic scene?

And pretty much everyone likes great food.

Idyllic scene.

We ate at a place called Jam’s American Grill. Not only was it ranked highly on websites about Omaha restaurants, but it had the word American in the name, which made it an excellent place to take international students for a final, special outing.

I posed them, like plastic toys!  But one of them moved.

I would like to mention that Rumiko is an excellent girlfriend. She has been my girlfriend for a while now, and I am her boyfriend number two, after Kim Jong-Il (President of North Korea). My efforts to oust Mr. Kim have thus far been unsuccessful. She is always interested in more boyfriends, so if you are interested let me know and I’ll submit your information to her. Unqualified applicants can expect to be boyfriend 500 or more, but applicants with appropriate qualifications (lots of money, President of a totalitarian nation) can expect to rank higher. Rumiko reserves the right to reject all applicants for any reason.

Rumiko is also a popular toy! Everyone likes to play with Rumiko.

Following our adventure eating at Jam’s, we went to the Shark Club. We were totally not sharks, but they let us in anyway. We played a fun game known as “pool.” We tried to act like sharks while we were there.

Rumiko the Pool Shark.

We also sometimes acted like humans.

Asian Wednesday's Asians

And aliens.

"It's like E.T." -Jong-hun

It is my wish that the spirit of Asian Wednesday will live on.

How to Have Your Own Asian Wednesday

  • Find an Asian.
  • Eat some food with the Asian.
  • Maybe watch a movie or something.

That’s it! Note that it does not even have to be Wednesday. Good luck!

* That part about the President is a lie.

Serb Fest!

In the tent by the beer garden which was hot.  Meaning being in the tent was.

Hundreds of people thought I was Serbian last Saturday.

“Why?” asks Attractive Girl while eating a delicious snack.

“Ooh, what is that snack?” I ask.

“It’s 호떡!” she says, smacking her oh-so-kissable lips.

“Oooh, I love 호떡!” I say. “Can I have one?”

She assumes a flirtatious motherly pose. “Only if you answer my question.”

Fair enough. The reason people thought I was Serbian is not because I’m Serbian. I’m not. It’s because I drummed for a Serbian folk music band (Majstory, pronounced like my story) at Omaha’s Serb Fest on Saturday! We were basically the dance band for the evening.

“What is Serb Fest?” asks Attractive Girl, handing me a nice greasy 호떡.

Besides being the reason I had to come back to Omaha, it was an all-day party for, of, and about Serbian things! Things including music, history, food, and of course, people. There were tables with Serbian items on them, interesting historical trivia about Nikola Tesla (he was Serbian by the way) and the Serbian Orthodox Church (priests must marry and grow beards), and singing Serbic children:

Serbs listening to Serbian childs singing Serbian songs in Serbian at Serb Fest!

Also, these children danced. Serbishly.

Serbian children can feel 7/8 just as well as adults!

You can’t see any shots of me playing with the band (I forgot to ask someone else to take pictures), but you can see our stuff set up there behind the childs. There was also a ton of super delicious Serbian food.

“What did you eat?”

Roast lamb. I think I should say it again: roast lamb. It was roasting for almost an entire day. Super good. Hey, you’re drooling!

“Oops! *slurp* But… I want to eat roast lamb!”

Don’t we all!

“Actually,” says a passing vegetarian, “I don’t.”

Well… um. Okay. But all normal, omnivorous people want to eat it.

“Are you saying vegetarians are abnormal?!”

Um… no. Dang it, I don’t even know who is talking anymore! Narrative devices aren’t supposed to be confusing! Let me talk more about Serb Fest.

“Okay.”

So there was food, and drink, and history, and tours of the church, and dancing, and music. The music was provided not only by Majstory but also by an acoustic group, pictured both above and below.

Play, play, play the Serbian folk tune!

That guy playing the upright bass is also the bassist for Majstory. What’s more, he is named Joe Brudny and he came over to my house yesterday and recorded some of that medium-sized guitar (which is actually not a guitar per se but rather a Serbian instrument called a brač) for me. Awesome.

IMPORTANT NEWS: I’ll be drumming again with Majstory for a similar event in Kansas City on September 13th! Come on over! Say “shta radish tea!” to people and they will think you’re Serbian too.

Now I am going to go before Attractive Girl or Vegetarian Girl confusingly interrupt again.