No, this is not a short story about Asia being destroyed on a Wednesday, or switching over to some crazy calendar that doesn’t have Wednesdays (although you are welcome to write one in the comments… I will give you a dollar if it’s good). Rather it describes an event, known as “Asian Wednesday.”

“Tell us about the origin of Asian Wednesday!!” clamors a mob of nearby teenagers.

Well mob of teenagers, Asian Wednesday has a long and glonous tradition — and cultual. Tuk under thurnb and held firmly.

“WHAT?!” they yell angstily.

Now you can pick up anything! …never mind. When I returned to Omaha from Seoul last March, I met up with my Korean friend Jong-hun, who had come over to Omaha to study English. He ended up living at an awesome place called Capitol Court, which is kind of like a dorm for international students, where he met many other international students, such as Mina Kang and Rumiko Niijima:

I and some of my friends decided to have a get-together with these people every Wednesday, wherein we would eat food and watch Asian videos. President Bush, upon learning of our weekly outing, said, “I like to say, if America can’t have Asian Wednesdays, it’s not the America I know.” The name stuck.*

Last Tuesday (yes, Tuesday) we had a special Asian Wednesday — the last one of its kind. Mina was leaving the next day on a two-week vacation to see America before she goes back to Korea, and I was about to leave on my second Leaf. What’s more, Jong-hun is going to accompany me for several weeks of this Leaf, and Rumiko moved from Capitol Court just two days prior. It just goes to show that Things Change.

Some things, however, don’t change. For example, men like cars:

Even better, cars and girls!

And pretty much everyone likes great food.

We ate at a place called Jam’s American Grill. Not only was it ranked highly on websites about Omaha restaurants, but it had the word American in the name, which made it an excellent place to take international students for a final, special outing.

I would like to mention that Rumiko is an excellent girlfriend. She has been my girlfriend for a while now, and I am her boyfriend number two, after Kim Jong-Il (President of North Korea). My efforts to oust Mr. Kim have thus far been unsuccessful. She is always interested in more boyfriends, so if you are interested let me know and I’ll submit your information to her. Unqualified applicants can expect to be boyfriend 500 or more, but applicants with appropriate qualifications (lots of money, President of a totalitarian nation) can expect to rank higher. Rumiko reserves the right to reject all applicants for any reason.

Following our adventure eating at Jam’s, we went to the Shark Club. We were totally not sharks, but they let us in anyway. We played a fun game known as “pool.” We tried to act like sharks while we were there.

We also sometimes acted like humans.

And aliens.

It is my wish that the spirit of Asian Wednesday will live on.

How to Have Your Own Asian Wednesday

• Find an Asian.
• Eat some food with the Asian.
• Maybe watch a movie or something.

That’s it! Note that it does not even have to be Wednesday. Good luck!

* That part about the President is a lie.