If I Were an Artist

If I Were an Artist

If I were an artist, the first thing I would do is learn how to draw a decent car. Then I would start drawing thousands upon thousands of drawings all mocking the cab-forward car. You know, where the cab sticks out ahead of the front bumper. I could have a nice collection in various mediums called "The Cab Forward Car of Tomorrow" which would be displayed at art exhibits in museums.

It could get fun drawing the cab forward car in different settings, or different varieties. For example the cab forward sports car sitting in front of an English mansion. The cab forward luxury sedan in a showroom. The cab forward semi truck on the highway. Wait, never mind; they already look like that. And my personal favorite: the cab forward limousine, escorting the President while surrounded by Secret Service personnel. Think about it! It's funny!

Of course, like all great artists, no one would appreciate my work until 30 years after I die. Everyone would think I was a huge idiot for drawing ridiculously ugly cars and SELLING them.

So then I would draw advertisements for the cars. If I did it right, I could make it seem as though car companies were actually PRODUCING extreme cab forward cars. Then everyone would make fun of car companies for being idiots, and my art would actually be realized as satire. But that would be far too blatant for me. I'm a subtle kind of guy. I'm not going to come right out and say "Cab forward cars are really stupid because they say they make a lot more space, when in reality they have to remove 90% of the engine to move the cab that far up." Instead I would just draw my pictures.

But I am not an artist, so this is just pure speculation.