Survey Archives: survey from 3.29.2000

1. Name: Zachary S. Bardon (like Ralph S. Mouse, the S stands for "smart")
2. Birthday: 06241980
3. Birthplace: a hospital in Omaha
4. Current Location: St. Louis, MO
5. Current School: Washington University in Seat- er, St. Louis
6. Height: pretty durn tall
7. Eye Color: nope, I go all natural... no artificial coloring here
8. Hair Color: same with the hair
9. Righty or Lefty: I am right handed, but when I play drums, I drum open, like Simon Phillips and Carter Beauford. (usually a left-handed drummer thing)
10. Innie or Outtie: Whoa! What a vague question! It totally depends what we're talking about being in or out of. Doors? In! The Know? In! Heat? Definitely out! Debt? In! Cahoots? haha
11. Font: when they say "Font" I'm going to have to assume, like I always do for these silly surveys, that they mean the Middle English form of the word "Fount." Now I have to decide what kind of question the word "fount" is. I don't think it is a question. But maybe they want some kind of general statement about founts, or what I think of them, I don't know. So I guess I'll say something: I LIKE FOUNTS. There.

Series 2:
1. Cartoon character: This isn't a question either. Statement: I LIKE CARTOONS.
2. Color: What is this?! COLORS ARE NICE, ESPECIALLY TO LOOK AT.
3. Movie(s): I WILL WATCH MOVIES.
4. Slurpee Flavor: Geez! This is getting really- hey! Whoa, I just realized that when they list all these strange nouns, what they are actually after is my personal preference, or, put another way, my favorite variety of that noun. I guess I'll catch up on all those questions I misunderstood (how embarrassing!)
cartoon character: Bob the Tomato
color: orange
movie: Jimmy Stewart movies and UHF
Now, I'll handle this question: what? I don't drink slurpees.
5. Fast Food Restaurant: como se taco!
6. Magazine: I used to subscribe to Aquarium Fish Magazine. It was good.
7. Book: Anything by Dick King-Smith, P. G. Wodehouse, Douglas Adams, or God. Also I like The Phantom Tollbooth.
8. NSYNC Singer: SYNTAX ERROR
9. Food & Beverage: mmmm... food. mmmmmmmm.... beverage.
10. Subject in School: music
11. Weekend Activity: hanging out with girls. haha!
12. Ice cream flavor: Maggiemoo's has good ice cream. I am going to go there sometime. You know what's dumb? One time I was going to go there with some short asian girl but when we got there it was closed!! The entire city of St. Louis shuts down at 10:00!! NOTHING is open after ten except the bowling alley and Home Depot and Uncle Bill's (mmmm... Uncle Bill's). It's disgusting. Not even Omaha shuts down that early!
13. Board Game: I think the only board game is surfing. There's not much else you can do with a board. Nonviolent things, I mean. I suppose if it's a long enough board, you could teeter-totter with it.
14. What is the square root of 4? 2
15. Advertisement: Hurry! Act Now! Supplies are Limited!
16. Cereal: I eat lots of cereal. I have yet to meet a sweetened cereal that I don't like. I also like almost all unsweetened cereals. Mmmmm... cereal.

Series 3: Who is...?
1. The Funniest Person(s) you know: Little kids. They are funny.
2. The Loudest Person You know: I plead the fifth, because I do not want to be assaulted later. (a salt with a deadly weapon... haha, betsy and her silly condiment jokes...)
3. The Quietest Person You Know: I never notice him, whoever he is.
4. The Smartest Person You Know: Everyone I know is an idiot! That's right, all of you!! Every last mother's son of you is an IDIOT!! Oh wait, am I awake? Oh dear. Sorry about that.
5. The Nicest Person You Know: probably some girl. girls are nice.
6. The Stupidest Person You Know: Well, THAT'S an easy one. That guy at Center Court who gave me TWO chicken pieces when I specifically asked him for ONE! I mean, come on! Honestly!
7. The Scariest Person You Know: NOTHING SCARES ME! I'm invisible!
8. The Sneakiest Person You Know: Payal, the girl next door who somehow attends classes, eats, and carries on her life without leaving her suite.
9. The person that knows you the most: how about my roomie? Tim. My parents could be up there. Maybe even John Pillen. I dunno.
10. The Person You Dislike the most: I like everyone. The whole world is my friend.
11. Your Crush: hehe... my squirt, my sprite, my 7up...ooh, and my fresca.
12. The Worst Person To Talk To online: whoever it is, I haven't encountered him/her yet, thankfully.
13. Person Least likely to respond to this e-mail: Some guy in Uzbekistan who doesn't own a computer.

Series 4: What Is...?
1. Your Most Overused Phrase: I hate to say this, but I'm thinking it might be "That's great." (it's a suemikimism)
2. The First Thing You Thought Of When You Woke up This Morning: I actually didn't wake up this morning because I never went to sleep last night. But here's what I thought yesterday: "YES! Another awesome day! I love awesome days! It's great to be alive! Wow, I feel unusually refreshed! (looks at clock) Oh my gosh, I overslept! AAGGGHH! I'm late for class!"
3. The First Feature You Notice In The opposite Sex: I look for nice feet.
4. Shoe size: an even 12.
5. The Best Name For A Butler: oh, any of these are good: Reginald, Jeeves, Jamison, or Beech.
6. The Coolest Sport: My little sister is a good sport.
7. The Song(s) That Best Describe you: if you were to somehow blend "Be Like the Bluebird," "Stella by Infra-Red High Particle Neutron Beam," "Jesus, all for Jesus," "Inside My Heart," "Remembrance," and some other song that hasn't been written yet that has everything else that's missing ALL into one song, then that song would best describe me. Yes, those are all actual songs.
8. One of Your Favorite groups (musical): IONA!
9. Your Best Feature: I have always been rather fond of the fact that I have symmetrical eyebrows.
10. On The Walls Of Your Bedroom: my "agglomeration wall" (bunches of pics, a printout of a hymn, comic strips, posters, cards, etc.), a cool picture of a boot that my dad took, a newspaper article ("Aquariums Found to be Stress Relievers"), and a gigantic wall map of Omaha, NE!
11. The Worst Feeling: not being able to go to sleep is a good one. Well, I mean a bad one. Ooh, or how 'bout: Not being able to feel. Or, here's a perfect Worst Feeling: when something horrible is happening to someone and you can't do anything to stop it (or maybe you could've but it's too late). That is just the worst feeling.
12. Have you ever been skinny dipping? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!! Stop asking me this!!
13. Your Bedtime: I sleep when it's convenient. I don't really have one of those things people call "schedules"
14. Your Greatest Fear: gremlins. Oh, wait... haven't we gone through all this before? I seem to recall that I answered this question earlier, and I said gremlins, oh wait, no gremlins are sorta cute, they look like furbys, I'm not afraid of furbys, actually I am afraid of losing appendages.
15. Your Greatest Accomplishment: I can read the whole alphabet like it's one word! Better still, I have it memorized! Also, I have been a good friend to people sometimes.
16. Your Best Memory: ugh. I'm waaay too tired of typing stuff to write it all out again... see my earlier surveys for the memory scoop.
17. Your Worst Memory: That time I was at Center Court and this guy gave me TWO chicken things!! I only asked him for ONE!!
18. Sicilian Or Regular Pizza: Garlic prevents forest fires. I mean, heart attacks. Well, actually garlic helps reduce cholesterol levels. So hey; Sicilian pizza. You know what would be funny? If they had Caecilian pizza! Ha ha! Caecilians are these funny little worm-fish thingies that sometimes they sell at pet stores as "rubber eels." It's pronounced the same as Sicilian! Ha! I wonder what they taste like.
19. Pepsi Or Coke: Nothing Else is a Pepsi.
20. Adidas Or Nike: Neither of these companies make stylish shiny black dress shoes.
21. McDonald's Or Burger King: como se taco!!
22. Chicken Nuggets Or Chicken Fingers: That depends on whether I have a bugget to put my chicken nuckets in!! ha ha! Good ol' Bushnells. (for those of who did not go to high school with me, and also for those of you who are not named Paul Coker, that will not make any sense. sorry.) mmmmm... chicken.
23. Dogs Or Cats: my family has a dog. also I like cats. but I like dogs more.
24. Rugrats Or Doug: Who is Doug? And what are rugrats? Like little rats that live in rugs? Is Doug a rugrat? Is that where the expression "Snug as a Doug in a rug" came from? Sorry, I really don't have enough information to answer this question. (If this were an SAT test, I would fill in the 'E' oval)
25. Antz or A Bugs Life: Antz didn't have outtakes.
26. Monica Or Brandy: There's this lady at my church named Monica Eby who sings really well. Also her husband Todd Eby plays drums. And my roommate's girlfriend's name is Brandi (with an I; stupid survey spelled it wrong) and they are both great people; I couldn't pick between them. Ouch! My roommate just punched me and told me to say Brandi. Ouch!
27. Sugar or Spice: both, and on toast. mmmmmm
28. Shania Twain Or LeAnn Rhymes: who are they?
29. Disney Land or Sea World: Disneyland doesn't have Shamu. And all their animals are fake. Like they have this giant mouse, which would be really cool, except it's waaaay too obvious that it's actually just some guy wearing a mouse suit! Talk about cheesy.
30. AeroSmith Or Red Hot Chili Peppers: I think since I have no answer for this question I will make up a similar question and answer it: Frank Lloyd Wright or Frank Gehry? Definitely Frank Gehry. Bilbau all the way.
31. Strawberries Or Blueberries: FRUIT!! Two thumbs up.
32. Mountain Dew Or Surge: I like Splode!
33. Lipton Ice Tea Or Nestea: tea is good, especially with toast
34. One Pillow Or Two: two
35. Chocolate Or Vanilla: vanilla
36. Hot Chocolate Or Hot Cocoa: sorry, haven't been trained to distinguish between the two.
37. Cappuccino Or Coffee: orange juice. lots.
38. Drinks With Or Without Ice Cubes: who cares?
39. Give Or Receive: Receieieve is one of those words where I never remember whether it's ie or ei. Like "weird." I've got it down now because I remember that rule about "i before e etc." and then remember that "weird" doesn't follow that rule. It's weird. See? "Weird" is weird! That's how I remember it.

Series 5: Do You...?
1. Take A Shower: No, I just use that cool antibacterial soap where you don't need water. That way I don't need to shower.
2. Have A Crush?: everyone gets crushes, but a truly wise man will say "icky icky ring ting tang" and forget about it.
3. Want to go to college: I like it here
4. Want To Get Married: yes
5. Type With Your Fingers On The Right Keys: What does it look like? I mean, DUH people! Here is what would happen if I hit the wrong keys: miov sehf2 ;s;jtyjsp[sa rjogl;sjepa rgk sdthok er[o rg;
6. Believe In Yourself: I have a self?!
7. Have Any Tattoos/Where?: yeah, a big "I HATE COPS" right on my chest. That's why I wear shirts most of the time. Oh yeah, and I have "TATTOO THIS" on my... well, (cough), er... *ahem*
8. Have Any Piercings/Where?: If Jesus was taking this survey he could be like "yeah, on my hands and feet" but I personally don't have any. Which reminds me of a really cool T-shirt I saw this guy named Kameron (yes, with a K) wearing. It says "Body Piercing Saved My Life" on the front, and on the back it shows Jesus' hands. That's a cool shirt.
9. Motion Sickness? Try Dramamine!
10. Think You're A Health Freak: One of my goals is to eventually be fat.
11. Get Along With Your Parents: I love my parents! They are cool.
12. Like Thunderstorms? WOO-HOO! Yes I do! Doo de doo!
13. ocean or lake? I have seen the Gulf, which I don't suppose counts as an ocean, which means I really can't answer that question, since I haven't ever seen the ocean.

Series 6: Your Future:
1. Age You Hope To Be Married? 35 is the definite cutoff. At that point, I'm going to start proposing to every girl I see... (j/k)
2. Where Do You See Yourself At Age 20?: That's coming up here real soon! I see myself at home working (my BD's in summer)
3. Describe Your Dream Wedding: I have awesome plans! It's gonna be big! But I'm not going to say what they are here, because then it won't be special. Ask me about it in person though, maybe I'll tell you. I've already told a few people a few things.
4. When/How Do You Want To Die?: It would be cool to be a martyr because then I would have a huge crown to give back to my King...
5. What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?: I wish I knew.
6. What Country Would You Most Like To Visit? Texas. Ha ha! No, actually Europe. What? Why are you staring at me like that? Ok, fine, Italy.
7. Where Do You Want To Live After College?: I will be touring with my band. We will live on our tour bus.

Series 7: Other:
1. What do you Wear to bed? cotton.
2. Do you wear socks to bed? no. (life motto: "Barefoot is better.")
3. How many rings until you answer the phone? 1 if I'm at my desk, 2.5 if I'm in the common room or bathroom, 2 if I was laying on my bed. Although sometimes I'll answer my phone after 0 rings, just in case someone was about to call that exact instant. Usually it's just a dial tone though.
4. What's on your mouse pad? don't have a mouse pad.... it was stolen.
5. How many houses have you lived in? officially, 2
6. How many schools have you gone to? lots, but I've only taken classes at 3
7. How many crushes have you had this past school year?: pi
8. What color is your bedroom carpet? beigeish
9. Would you shave your head for $5000?: No way man, I could do it myself for free if I wanted to.