Mojito might be nice, but then I really ought to paint it a refreshing lime green.

However, it is almost the same color as a tasty, tasty donut…

But aren’t all these names really just synonyms for Love? Batman = Love, Mojito = Love, Donut = Love… I guess I should just name it Love…?

Nicknames … Batman is always a safe bet. Just call the car Batman.

Sigur Roads? Because Sigur Ros is apparently Icelandic for “Victory Rose”, and you’re driving a Crown Vic, and so the “Sigur” fits and it goes about on the roads, and yeah …

Or you could just refer to it as The Love Boat, because no one will argue with the “boat” bit, and love is just … well, love … and love is grand. But also … F*** love, because it’s a crock of … yeah, let’s not go there in a public post, eh?

What about Carputin’, like Rasputin, because you’ll be computin’ in yer car, hence the Carputin’ … Because that’s what you’ll be doin’ …

You could just call it The Rock, because it will be your steady companion throughout your journeys. Like a rock, it’s always there.

Or, you could just call it “Mojito”, because I know you love your car, and I know you love mojitos, and so they’re really the same thing, right? Because Love = Love.

In which case, you could simply nickname the car “Doughtnut”, because we also know that Doughtnut = Love, and is therefore the same as Love = Love.