How to Talk Good

Lesson #2: How to Talk Like a Pirate

Talking like a pirate is often useful, for example at parties, conventions, and on deserted islands. Here's how in five easy steps:

1. Select a command from the following list:

swab
unfurl
raise
lower
hoist
pay

2. Select a noun from the following list:

mast
anchor
dinghy
topsail
crow's nest
deck
captain's cabin
anything else that is part of a ship

3. (optional) Preface your noun of choice with one of the following modifiers:

main
aft
fore
poop

4. Put the words together into one command, such as "Lower the fore anchor!" or "Hoist the main mast!" or even "Swab the rigging!" or "Unfurl the crow's nest!"

5. Walk around yelling a string of these commands in a gruff voice.